Wicked Game – Chapter 2

“Very Superstitious”

As I stated in the previous chapter, I was kind of lazy. In some ways, I still am.

I wound up as an intern at the New Jersey Shakespeare Festival in part because I failed to prepare, to take the initiative to get into some other place. Or at least that was what I thought at the time.

This is not to say I thought the place was shabby or subpar. Far from it. Being that close to New York City, it was a fine place to get seen. Though the trend then was that agents were more interested in seeing new, original works, on occasion some union actor’s agent would show up and you could follow up later with a headshot photograph, resume and letter, for all the good that generally did.

Rejection was part of being a professional actor. There were and still are hundreds of possible reasons why you might be fine, even perfect for a role, and you would be turned down. All of those reasons would be completely beyond your control unless of course you have the power to manipulate people and events. Most people don’t have that kind of power and I expect that those that do generally don’t use it to further acting careers.

I did enjoy the work at the Festival, learned a great deal, met some wonderful people. I also had the chance to delve further into the works of the man generally considered to be the creator of the modern English language. Shakespeare’s influence over story, beliefs, figures of speech, politics is still felt very much today.

But some of the off-stage (usually off-stage, that is) events were odd. There were things that I eventually had to chalk up to the supernatural not having any other rational explanation to rely on. The mere idea that it was, in part, either training or experimentation with psychological operations, somewhat advanced technology, and neuroscience through the use of drugs or other means (that is, behavioral modification, such as had occurred during the Cold War with programs like MK/Ultra and its 149 subprojects [1] ), seemed so farfetched even for someone with a vivid imagination would at least like to doubt it. Even when there is so much evidence that points to that being the truth. The financial expense and the idea that, “Really, I’m not that special so why is this happening to me?” shuts us down before we even take the thought seriously as a possibility. That, along with the fear of being associated with people who believe that some species from another planet is controlling us all, gives us ample reason to not dwell on that as explanation. Further combined with the fact that we don’t much discuss the darker parts of the Cold War except when we must. Most people don’t know, as I didn’t at the time, just how inhuman some of what went on in the 40s to the 70s was. Finally, there is the fear, deep down, that it just might be true. That’s unpleasant. We actively avoid unpleasant most of us when we are given two choices and one is less so. Easier to believe in the supernatural when you lack explanation. Science fiction author Arthur C. Clarke dealt with that subject [2].

At the Festival, there were odd little things like the occasional bizarre behavior of individuals, things like merely mentioning someone’s name and the lights blinking off. There was a car accident. One which may well have been an actual accident, but being where we were and what has transpired since, I have my doubts.

Perhaps more indiciatvely of so-called mind control techniques was the fact that three actresses, one the year I was in Germany in ’88, one in ’89 and finally one in ’90 when I returned for another year, fits closest to the known goals of such programs. In fact, pulling that off is first on the list on a draft 1955 MK/Ultra memo that escaped the Director Dulles’ order to destroy all related documentation after the program’s discovery but before the Senate held hearings [3].

That item is:

1. Substances which will promote illogical thinking and impulsiveness to the point where the recipient would be discredited in public.

And that is precisely what happened. The actress from 1988 (whom I met on a few occasions in ’89) was on anti-depressants and generally, were I to put a label on it, seemed shellshocked. She also said an odd thing or two as I recall. I believe now that she was misdiagnosed and had instead been the subject of some harassment drug or technique.

This came at some point before, I think, the second actress started behaving strangely. A union actor, a female intern, and I became dinner friends and confidantes. Then, one day, the intern-actress started acting strangely, had odd feelings toward our formerly mutual union actor friend.

She eventually became so erratic that she left the festival. I did see her now and again after that when I visited her in the City. On one such evening, the Sunday or Monday before Thanksgiving, my car broke down and there was a terrible storm, and I was marooned in the City for the night having missed the last bus back to New Jersey.

This had come on the heels of a small argument with the union actor. He was unaware of my prior plans with the intern and asked me to dinner. When I told him I already had plans with her he got upset.

Note that this, it now seems to me, was the sewing of some early seeds of confusion. My union actor friend had also dated the actress from ’88. He worked closely with the one in ’90 who also suddenly seemed to suffer from some kind of mental breakdown.

The idea that he and he alone arranged all of this is preposterous. Rather, I believe those responsible made it seem that way from my point of view as a way of deflecting notice from themselves. I am talking about people who lie and deceive for a living. They are good at it. Witness the kinds of disinformation where most conspiracy theories are concerned [4]. In fact, it is likely that they had hoped that I would assume later that he had been somehow responsible for what happened later and go hunt him down.

Also, note that a man who worked in the defense industry (an industry I criticize frequently) died mysteriously in 2013. I had attended his birthday party at a chapter of AMVETS the previous Fall. He had been over for dinner a few times and was dating the friend of a friend.

The evidence would seem to point to me. If you believe the lie that I might be some kind of hypnotized assassin, trained and capable of killing without the means and methods being obvious, then I must be the killer.

Of course I bore him no ill will at all. He worked in an industry that’s corrupt. So do lots of people. That doesn’t mean that they deserve to die for it.

Again, I say that this hypnotized assassin disinformation is false. Though we may actually be approaching a day where such things are possible (scientists recently have successfully put false memories into laboratory mice), that is not the case with me. It was instead likely an attempt to confuse, frame, or otherwise demoralize me [5].

I didn’t do it. But I see how it might appear that way. Ergo, the same is very likely true of my union actor friend. They are using us as scapegoats and hoped to pit us against each other, put us on a collision course in order to hide the very, very illegal program(s).

By the time 1990 rolled around, my intern actress friend was filling up notebooks with graffiti she had seen, license plate numbers, and other things and events that seemed to hold significance for her. To other people, these numbers and symbols held different, little or no meaning at all.

The effect was chilling. A very beautiful woman, who had seemed perfectly normal to me previously, suddenly had something very wrong with her brain. She obsessed about it. She could not let it go. She was convinced that our union friend either worked for the CIA or was “the Devil.”

When, just days before I was to go back to the Festival, she asked me to ride with her and drive her rental car back to New York because she was going west to live with family in Missouri, I was relieved. I had been unable to help her and unable to convince her to seek psychological help. As it turns out, that likely would not have been the best move on her part [6 7].

On the way to Missouri, she left me at a gas station in Ohio because she believed that her deceased father’s ghost had told her that I intended to do her harm that night. Fear and something else had gripped her. She threw $80 out the crack of the car window and drove off.

As it turned out, it actually cost $96 to take a bus from Cleveland or Cincinnati (I have forgotten which it was) back to Manhattan. I had a week-to-week apartment there and the Festival was going to start up again in a few days.

There would be an eery similarity between my intern friend’s belief that she was hearing from the dead and a Minnesotan who moved to Los Angeles to pursue an acting career decades later [8]. When I had similar experiences, the people I thought I was hearing were alive. I will explain how I believe this is done later. For now, you might want to familiarize yourself with a 1978 book by Dr. James Lin of Wayne State University [9].

Similarly, I would find myself gazing at and finding meaning in license plates and graffiti just as she had done two decades before. This happened after I had written to the FBI and Secret Service regarding concern over having accidentally bumped into what I thought must be some plot by foreign entities over what later came to be referred to as Squidgate. Unfortunately, it was only as foreign as NATO, Virginia or Maryland. I will also come back to that later.

The end result of my experiences at the Festival was that I had converted from something like deism, agnosticism, or atheism to Christianity. Lacking another explanation, I went with the supernatural. Two decades later, I’d find other answers, but I’d still see evil’s face.


14 03b MKULTRA Senate 1977


2. Known sometimes as Clarke’s Third Law. It basically states that sufficiently advanced technology, to those who don’t understand how it works, seems like magic. In my opinion, this concept is the basis of the space alien disinformation efforts. (See note 4 for more on wild disinformation.)

People don’t understand when they experience, for example, voice-to-skull (nor why their government or other powerful entities would use it on them, or if they did, why spend the money to do so), and therefore chalk it up to aliens, angels and devils, or black magic. Likely, these false conclusions are the result of the same technology planting the thought via subliminal audio messages. That’s what voice-to-skull is capable of, as is the Russian version, acoustic psycho-correction. For the latter, see Defense News, 11-17 January 1993, pp. 4, 28.


3 See appendix of Senate report in note 1.

14 03 MKULTRA 5555

4 E.g., space aliens and Satan and his demons on the wilder end moving toward the old scapegoats of particular religious groups and secret societies on the other. The only explanation that fits it all requires the military, intelligence operatives, and massive resources that only a government and its private partners can provide. More likely, it is the pooled resources of several such as the member nations of NATO. More about this later.

5 For example:

• The defense industry provides jobs so don’t criticize it’s massive waste and corruption (Of course the Post Office and Chuck E. Cheese also provide jobs).

• Maybe I am a killer and don’t know it (if so, I, or someone else, would have caught me by now…such is the police state in which we now live and I’ve been over and over my situation. There are no gaps, no actual espionage, merely the scapegoat for others as I’ve stated. I will later get to some activism that may have not entirely been my idea, but I don’t regret doing that, would have been mostly what I’d have done anyway and in any case recall it just fine.) This one would appeal to bad or corrupt members of law enforcement.

• They killed someone that close to me and got away with it (so far, yes they did. He’s not the only one. My grandmother was likely killed as well. I’ll get to that later).

I should add that it is possible to take someone suffering from some kind of mental illness, or to drug someone who isn’t, and then push them to become violent via psychological operations and NLWs that can be used to affect emotion. That’s really the point of this book. This is what they have tried to do to me and as of this writing still are.

But that doesn’t mean it’s that such people actually aren’t already showing signs of being disturbed and, most likely, without actual combat training, are likely to be ineffective combatants, terrorists, whatever, without help. They would likely not be able to hold down two jobs for ten years each (I did).

In any case, it’s not a hidden second personality. It is someone else’s ideas pushed into someone’s head, yes, but they are aware either of those thoughts when they aren’t subliminal or are aware that they get upset when it is, even if they don’t know the actual reason or cause.

It is the stress of having ideas different from your own forced into your brain remotely and against your will. Not the same as the “forgetful assassin.”

6 For some specific examples of what I mean, see “Brainwash Victims Win Cash Claims”, by Karin Goodwin, the London Sunday Times, 17 October 2004. Ewan Cameron, the first president of the World Psychiatry Association, performed inhuman experimentation on some students at McGill University in Montreal on behalf of the US Central Intelligence Agency. For another more recent example of mental health professionals perhaps violating human rights, see note 8 below.

02 06a lst brainwash victims

Brainwash victims win cash claims
Karin Goodwin

HUNDREDS of mentally ill patients who were subjected to barbaric CIA-funded brainwashing experiments by a Scottish doctor could be entitled to compensation following a landmark court ruling.

Doctor Ewan Cameron, who became one of the world’s leading psychiatrists, developed techniques used by Nazi scientists to wipe out the existing personalities of people in his care.

Cameron, who graduated from Glasgow University, was recruited by the CIA during the cold war while working at McGill University in Montreal, Canada.

He carried out mind-control experiments using drugs such as LSD on hundreds of patients, but only 77 of them were awarded compensation.

Now a landmark ruling by a Federal Court judge in Montreal will allow more than 250 former patients, whose claims were rejected, to seek compensation.

Gail Kastner, who underwent electroshock treatment at a Montreal psychiatric institute in 1953, and whose claim was rejected 10 years ago, successfully appealed the judgment.

Last week, Alan Stein, of Montreal law firm Stein and Stein, which represented Kastner, confirmed he was in the process of contacting former clients who could now renew their appeal.

“There are about 200 people still due compensation,” he said. “This judgment should send out strong signals to the Canadian government. Those who have previously missed out should have a strong case for appealing.”

Using techniques similar to those portrayed in the celebrated novel the Manchurian Candidate, it was believed that people could be brainwashed and reprogrammed to carry out specific acts.

Cameron developed a range of depatterning “treatments” while director of the Allan Memorial Institute at McGill University.

Patients were woken from drug-induced stupors two or three times a day for multiple electric shocks. In a specially designed “sleep room” made famous by Anne Collins’s book of the same name, Cameron placed a speaker under the patient’s pillow and relayed negative messages for 16 hours a day.

Kastner was a 19-year-old honours student suffering from mild depression when she first underwent “treatment” in 1953. On returning home she sucked her thumb, demanded to be fed from a bottle, talked in a baby voice and urinated on the floor.

She was ostracised by her affluent family, who were unable to cope with her changed state, and her marriage in 1955 quickly broke down due to her difficulties.

Cameron, who was born in Bridge of Allan in 1901, rose to become the first president of the World Psychiatric Association.

It took two decades and the persistence of Joseph Rauh, the distinguished American civil liberties lawyer, to uncover what happened and secure compensation for some of Cameron’s victims.

7 See again the joint Senate hearings on MK/Ultra in 1977. According to testimony, many professionals were paid by the Central Intelligence Agency in association with that and similar programs. Many of them were psychologists, psychiatrists and other mental health professionals. The CIA kept their identities out of the public eye by telling the Senate that revealing them would hurt the chances of people cooperating with them in the future.

8 See CityPages News, “Charles Schulz under scrutiny for Seroquel study suicide: Is U of M department of psychiatry chair in the pocket of AstraZeneca?”, by Andy Mannix, 2 February 2011:


Dan Markingson, who later committed suicide under Dr. Schulz’s care, would only leave California if his deceased aunt told him to, according to his mother. Voice-to-skull would work nicely to such an end under those circumstances, especially after he was likely drugged surreptitiously in order to lose some touch with reality. They could use the voice of the aunt to control his actions. As a matter of fact, that was how his mother got him back to Minnesota. She created a false email account and sent him an email as if she were the deceased relative.

9 Microwave Auditory Effects and Applications, Dr. James C. Lin, Charles C. Thomas publisher, 1978, ISBN 0-398-03704-3

02 09a Lin book


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