Wicked Game – Chapter 27

“You’ve Got Crazy”

(Note: I don’t mean to make light of mental illness. If there weren’t this Orwellian nonsense pervading our lives right now, that topic might be one I’d be interested in working to see better care. However, right now there are government and corporate entities that use it as a tool for coverup and that takes precedence for me at this time).

I did not hear of organized stalking (referred to by some as gangstalking–perhaps inaccurately–and cause stalking) until some time in 2011. It turned out that once I did, there were online communities of people with similar experiences to my own.

It nearly always started out with events only witnessed by the target that would seem to make them appear delusional. Then, they would start to, from the lack of sleep and likely some substance that they had been slipped, seem also paranoid, perhaps even schizophrenic. The family and friends would start out finding it a little funny (because they just knew that there was nothing wrong) and eventually move towards having the target see a doctor, a psychiatrist, or have them committed to a mental health facility. Eventually, they are isolated from everyone they knew. The harassment continues except now everyone they meet thinks that the target must have always been “crazy.”

Some of those people, I learned, had been in the military or even worked in CIA and NSA. For some, knowing they had actually done nothing wrong and still thinking of their co-workers and the missions that they once worked on together, they came to the conclusion that it had to be some kind of outside influence responsible. They are likely correct, though I am dubious about the purity of those who remain behind given that this practice has gone on for so long without any end in sight.

In Minneapolis in 2011, I met a man named Mark who had previously worked for NSA contractor Technodyne. He had noticed a “problem” in billing and promptly reported it to the partners. In essence, they had defrauded the government, over-billed them.

Suddenly things started going bad for Mark. He lost his job. His wife stopped loving him. He could not find other work.

Eventually he figured it out. Exactly as described by whistleblower Thomas Drake, the NSA had become a revolving door for public servants to go into the private sector and make money. Some of these people became millionaires as a result. Drake further said that they invented the “boogeyman” in order to go out and fulfill the specific contract for which they had created the (phony) threat that was sold up into the chain of command at the Department of Defense and eventually the Administration and Congress [1].

Ironically, and completely unsurprisingly to me, Mark did not go to anyone other than the partners of Technodyne about the problem. After he did that, he let the matter drop.

And yet they targeted him, destroyed his life as they had mine, Lynnae Williams, Derrick Robinson, and others [1].

Some time after Mark got resettled in Minneapolis, he discovered that one of the partners likewise had been ruined. Mark surmised that that partner had reported the problem some place, whether it was the Inspector General or elsewhere is not known. The other partners or whoever it is takes care of the dirty work in order to protect the theft of tax dollars through the bloated and unconstitutional NSA surveillance programs, had sought revenge against this partner as they had Mark without a second thought. Perhaps they had initially thought that Mark had been the one to go to an outside party.

Even more tragic for Mark, he had Washington Post‘s Dana Priest working on his story and the expectation was that it would get published. The editors pulled it in the last hour, perhaps in favor of the larger expose Top Secret America. The articles there don’t always have the same specifics, but the point it the same. It gets larger and larger. Reading between the lines, it threatens to consume this country by making it go broke as the conflict in Afghanistan and the “Star Wars” program had done to the Soviet Union.

At first blush it would seem that this would be obvious. The problem of massive spending is, after all, the main complaint coming out of the GOP of every flavor (though they never seem to actually mean defense; usually whatever helps old people and children, eg, social security and education). What they mean is, lower taxes because inevitably someone must pay for all of this (and they fear it will be their corporate donors).

It also seems likely, that even the top military brass who are half in and half out of the defense industry would see this threat for what it is. The United States has, for example, borrowed so much money from China that it practically appears that either ownership will shift or there will be a war so as not to have to repay the debt. While some other option is not out of the question, it is going to be damn hard to accomplish while the spigot is open full bore the way it is. (Yes, but those reductions aren’t near enough to repair the damage already done. [2])

Then why? Because the new, held hostage by radical and greedy element, conservative movement in this country has also come to despise the federal government so much, that they actually want it to fail. See again the previous chapter for where that will go (to State sovereignty and unconstitutional “law”). Why put sodomy laws back into effect? Because you want to be able to wave a piece of paper when you round people up based on sexual orientation. Those three groups (Muslims, atheists and LGBT) were chosen for a reason. It has little or nothing to do with the actual philosophical views of those who are imposing such measures. It has to do with who they can best use (as Hitler used Jews, gays, intellectuals and foreigners) to unite everyone else against an “enemy.” That’s all it is. In all three cases, they will be cherrypicking portions of the Bible to do so (leaving out the parts about love, or perverting them as much as possible). To criticize this will be viewed by the misinformed and afraid as questioning God himself. They will also have their false-flag attacks to point to, 9/11 and the inflated rhetoric over Manning.

It seems clearer and clearer, they did try to draw me into that. The purpose was not just to derail removing DADT, but to create a phony narrative in which gays are the enemy. What I am describing is the longterm (I use the term loosely, we aren’t that far from it) plan.

Then there was the “spiritual fitness” test that the Army started pushing that singled out atheists [3]. This is (probably) not due to some general’s religious beliefs. This is part of an overall “war” strategy.

I guarantee you, if there was a good way to make money from gays, atheists, and Muslims by being nice to them, they would be doing something else entirely. Suddenly, those religious hangups would not loom so large. The “blessings” of plenty would clearly mean it was God’s will, so let two thousand year and older bygones be bygones.

(I should also mention here that there was a woman here in Michigan who worked for a government agency in low-level clerical position, not in a sensitive one. She was targeted she thinks because she is a member of one of the Christian varieties who are conscientious objectors. They refuse to believe that there are such things as “just” wars. Mostly, she wound up having bizarre things happen at work before being fired and was targeted after that with electronic nonlethal weapons while she was attempting to rectify her situation and find out what happened.

That should help clarify. There is a history of problems between governments of all kinds and these kinds of Christian groups [4], which should make the real question of what politicians are generally devoted to obvious {Mars and Mammon}. It’s not believers versus non-believers, it’s building excuses for continual tax dollar guzzling. Most targets aren’t gay, atheist, Muslim. They are generally practice targets, witnesses, whistleblower, or some combination.)

The Left, on the other hand, who seems to shrink by the day as Democrats give in to defense money as the guiding principle of determining votes, rationalizes away one-by-one these clear indicators–based on historic principles–in the public record.

Going back to the point at top, not every target of organized stalking falls under those three labels nor has worked in the intelligence and defense sectors. Nor does the goal of targeting every individual seem to be to make them violent.

I’ll say it again, this was a long time in the planning and in order to pull off covert operations large and small, operatives needed training. Some of these people may have simply been chosen randomly or because they had already seen a doctor for some issue (emotional, hallucinations, drug use, abuse) that made them an easy target. They would never be believed because of their history. Like choosing to murder a former drug addict via overdose, you can torture a person with mental health issues so long as you don’t get caught because they won’t be believed.

Occasionally, there is a man who emails and claims that he can “feel” that they are forcing urine and feces into his bloodstream. No way of knowing how he came to the point of believing that, not having known him before. Is he being harassed as well? Why not? This is not about compassion. It is about training operatives (allegedly for use against terrorists, of course, but the Church hearings made clear how the war on Communism got knocked off mission as well [5]).

So it was that I slogged through some of the craziest things I’d ever seen, continuing through February and March of 2010. Doppelgängers (one time it was Demi and Ashton, including a baby; as they got close it became apparent it was not them but they must have made their living as impersonators or spooks). There were people walking up and snapping my picture. There was a local criminal who followed me home three times.

One night I was so frustrated I was crying. Some blond woman walked by mocking me.

These people were vicious.

My only outlets for attempting to cope with those events were mostly Twitter, LiveJournal, and emails. Essentially isolated from my friends (who were either otherwise busy or found that their significant others were irrationally afraid of me) the emails usually went to Peter Watts.

In April of last year I went to Toronto. I went for several reasons. One was that I wanted to apologize in person, or at least lay out my reasons for what happened, to Peter himself. I had, in February of 2012, sent an apology letter to him (and by the way, I also sent one to George Clooney in January) via a science fiction bookstore that also had helped Peter to gather money for his legal defense.

I’m getting ahead of myself, but that letter must have arrived mere days before Peter’s favorite cat, Banana, who was laying on his pillow above his head while he was sleeping, started “screaming” and died [6].

(Are you starting to understand what my social life is like? Read the Drake interview in its entirety except replace the part about simply getting you out of the building to getting you out of the realm of the breathing but preferably by your own hand or accident due to how nervous they try to make you [1 again]).

As if that weren’t disturbing enough, Cheney cancelled a trip to Toronto around the time I was headed there due to concerns over his personal safety [7].

Then, when April of 2012 rolled around, I went first to Port Huron to visit the family of the woman I refer to as the Squidgate juror. (I’ll come back to her story and how we met later.)

Once I was about to leave for Canada, the Squidgate juror’s dog, a Spaniel named Jackson, disappeared. They had let him out the previous evening. For reasons even beyond what you’ve already read here, I almost stopped them. I’ll come back to this later, but eventually it turned out that the dog had been run over that night. An ad on Craig’s List had gotten a response from a woman who claimed to have found the dog along the side of the road and held him until he died.


Recall Clooney’s dog, Banana, and Cleo.

The point of the trip was in part that I intended to at least try as best I could to apologize in person for what must have been at least a little traumatic for Peter and his wife, receiving those damn crazy emails.

I recall one where I said:

“Sometimes I’m so horny, I could fistf— a nazi in a wedding dress.”

On the one hand, too much information. On the other, an attempt at levity over what was (for me being harassed and Peter awaiting a trial and later sentencing) a harrowing time.

But underneath that there was something else. That was a clear reference to Ratzinger. Despite being drugged and harassed out of my mind, I was thinking on some level that NSA (or whoever their client is) was clearly reading these emails and that it just might be what Seymour Hersh referred to as seven or eight of the Joint Chiefs who were loyal to Cheney and were actively trying to screw Obama up for wanting to pull us out of Iraq and Afghanistan [8] and that most of them were Catholic, apparently thinking of themselves as crusaders of some variety or other. Criticism back at Hersh perverted what he said (he said that these people think, act as if, they are Opus Dei, Knights of Malta). They also pushed the false claim that there is no connection between military command and religion. The spiritual fitness test was later evidence of what Hersh had earlier claimed.

There was at times a method to my madness, though I can’t say that I was always conscious of what it was. That was me attempting to strike back at what was, perhaps, ultimately responsible for operations such as the one I was witnessing.

After my iPhone and money got stolen, I sent Peter a warning email to be on guard for pickpockets. In my weary delirium, I had assumed that Peter was likewise getting harassed in Toronto. Certainly there was some online stuff going on at the blog and elsewhere, but I had envisioned something more akin to what I was going through.

As it turned out, that was apparently not generally the case. There was, after the pickpocket warning email, a post by him about the video of an octopus who stole an underwater videographer’s camera. I wasn’t clear if he had gotten a camera stolen or was just clowning around and I didn’t get it under my circumstances at the time.

There was a lot of misreading of things. By April 2012, I had understood better what they had done. They (or my brain would “irrationalize” based on subliminal suggestions or simply the mind-altering effects of whatever substances) something someone wrote and take it out of context. Sometimes it would even mean the opposite of what was meant.

The biggest example was when Peter revealed that he had had a co-passenger, a man, who had been in the car with him when he got stopped at the border. The guards had handcuffed this person to the railing on the bridge for several hours. Peter did not reveal this person’s name nor their relationship on the blog (for privacy reasons).

That had (or V2K, black ops, had) brought to mind Matthew Shepherd.

Recall again. I saw Janus in the deli. He said hello with kitty litter. I thought him a friend of Peter’s. Peter reveals that he had a passenger, a young man, with him.

Suddenly, it all seemed to come together. But that meant…

That this person who (through brainwashing I thought) had saved my life had also been the one that had been handcuffed out in the cold. For hours. “Matthew Shepherd.”

I knew then that I had to get to Toronto to try to find out before the trial. I was very frustrated from all the harassment, the Conway fire, etc. I knew it would be better to find out if it had been Janus (at the time “Adrienne 2”) in the car beforehand in order to have some cooling off time rather than finding out in the courtroom, hearing those details, and maybe going violent or belligerant over it. Maybe even directing my ire at the guard who had, really if you think about it, made certain that there even was an arrest of Peter, detainment of Peter’s passenger.

The brainwashing was taking effect and I didn’t even realize it. My protective instinct was one weakness that they tried to exploit. Turn love into a means to cause hate. That’s so “evil” in thinking, or cold, hard, calculating, that I can’t help wondering what these people actually do during the sermons they hear at church together every week. Compartmentalization clearly is not just about keeping secrets from each other. I think that their own brains must do it to protect them from feeling the slightest remorse for what they do. No rules at all.

I tried to see a friend of Peter’s before the trial in March of 2010. He (quite understandably) ignored my emails and I had to wait until the trial to find out that it was not Janus who had been in the car.

I don’t think I’d ever been happier to find out someone had been abused by law enforcement before. He was a nice guy, didn’t deserve it, but he wasn’t my “savior”.

At one point, now wondering if this person weren’t perhaps Peter’s son (he was tall) I asked Peter about that, told him that I’d had a visitor. He said no kids from his loins (but in such a way that it later gave my brain the wiggle room it needed, and he has two stepdaughters) and that I must have simply seen a “kook in the grocery store.”

I took all of that to mean the exact opposite of what he actually said, once I “thought” about it more (that is, once something else had “re-interpreted” it all for me). He had clearly said that because he had seen the same harassment (this was my thinking at the time) and was trying to protect this person, whoever he was.

Of course he had actually meant exactly what he said. It was amazing to me, later, to look back at that and similar things and try to figure out how I had essentially filtered every single piece of data through one lens that all pointed toward Janus. This continued even until April 2012, but by then I was mostly pretending so as to see where this was all going.

This is not to say that I didn’t care about other things. I cared very much, did not want to see Peter go to prison. But when it eventually appeared that that might be the case, it was because of Janus that I managed to hold on, stay positive, not give up.

Now, several things should be apparent from that. Whoever did at least part of this was trying to make an argument (as in a debate, like between a team of rivals except using actual live human beings instead of flow charts) that gays can love and have “faith” in somebody, maybe even each other.

Conversely, I suppose, you could say that (as things stand now) that faith may not be always well-placed. Worked, to a point. Who won? “Survey says…!”

I wound up writing the longest complete piece of fiction I’d ever written nearly purely out of my feelings for this guy. It is awful, mind you, though maybe has an entertaining moment or two.

But then I’ve written a whole lot more since, some of it better, and that’s at least partially due to the same reason.

I should note that the euphoria (see again item 11, MKULTRA memo) likely made it appear in March 2010 as though I were having fun. That wasn’t why I did it (thrills) but once you are being forced to do something, you may as well make the best of it. Or, maybe it was just the euphoria doing that, pasted on top of inner misery.

When I showed up in Michigan, I think there was some confusion. Who was this dude who didn’t seem so crazy in person who sent all those nutty emails? At lunch, Peter even said, “I don’t know, you could be completely paranoid,” to which I held up a thumb and finger and said, “Just a little bit.”

The trial had begun.

1 Salon, “NSA Whistleblower: Obama ‘worse than Bush'”, Matthew Harwood, May 7, 2012:


You talk about Milton in the basement with his stapler. That’s effectively what happened. You are uninvited from certain kinds of meetings. You end up having certain key functions reassigned to even your own staff members or informed that the funding that you had been receiving, well, you know we don’t need to do that anymore.

You talk about the dark side of Dilbert; they were literally manufacturing incidents that never occurred. That’s the level at which they excel. The distrust within this dystopia of each other: people come into work looking to make someone else’s life bad and they’re deriving great pleasure from the psychological pain they’re inflicting bureaucratically on one another. What does that tell you?

[Q] You talk regularly about how a feeding frenzy occurred throughout the U.S. security establishment and its defense contractors after Congress starting writing blank checks in an effort to prevent another 9/11. A decade later, are we at a place now then where they have to manufacture threats to keep the money flowing?

You have to persist the threat. You have to find another existential reason why this is indefinite. The only way to do that is the boogeyman. You have to paint that.

2 See also attempts to paint other whistleblowers at delusional, paranoid, or psychotic. Russell Tice blew the whistle on illegal NSA programs and was forced to undergo psychological evaluations as a result:

History Commons, Russell Tice:


See also Dakota Meyer who described defense contractor BAE System’s intent to sell better weapon sights to the Pakistani military, which would certainly result in the deaths of American soldiers due to frequent betrayals and better technology.

Not only did the Pentagon try to paint Meyer as a mentally ill alcoholic, they made sure that he could no longer work in the defense industry at all and then parties unknown planted stories questioning Meyer’s acts of heroism that lead to his winning of the Congressional Medal of Honor:


2 Across-the-board sequester.

3 Army Spiritual Fitness Test


4 http://www.adventist.org/beliefs/statements/war-in-iraq.html



Canada, the US and UK, as well as Nazi Germany, all persecuted such faiths due to the possibility of a growing anti-war movement.

It is interesting to note that the Jehovah’s Witnesses are largely credited with protecting and expanding civil liberties, especially in Canada. Prior to socialized medicine, the Catholic Church ran most hospitals. The conditions and service were generally so bad (lack of funding and faith-based healing), that it lead to a rights revolution.


5 Church hearings, deciding who is a threat to social structure.


Might write some of that differently today, but that old post contains the historical background.

6 Banana.

7 Blog again. Bush visited BC when I planned a Canada trip (postponed) then Cheney cancelled his trip to Toronto during mine.


8 See again, Seymour Hersh on stay-behinds, “moles.”



2 thoughts on “Wicked Game – Chapter 27

  1. Pingback: Wicked Game ch. 27 | McCoyote

  2. Pingback: Contents | Wicked Game

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